Top Ten Ways to Reduce Burdensome Facebook Friend Counts (Attempted Humor)

Sometimes the old Facebook friends list gets to a point where it needs to be weeded out. Instead of spending the time to go through each friend to decide whether or not they deserve to stay on the list, I’ve come up with my own tried-and-true tactics for reducing burdensome friend counts.

Yes, I have seen these tactics employed on Facebook with phenomenal success. I’ve personally removed friends based on #4, so I highly recommend that tactic for a quick weeding.

So..here we go, my top then, proven methods for a successful weeding operation.

1. Curse in status updates as if it were part of your normal dialogue.
2. Tag people in photos that weren’t meant to be uploaded to Facebook.
3. Throw a huge rant fest when your desired political candidate doesn’t win.
4. Post up-to-the-minute public status updates about activities you’re engaged in..that shouldn’t be public.
5. Randomly friend request everyone from other people’s friends lists..even if you don’t know them.
6. Brag incessantly in status updates about feats that you shouldn’t be proud of.
7. List Glitter as one of your favorite movies.
8. Use friends’ walls to conduct business meetings.
9. Use spelling and grammar as if you never finished elementary school.
10. Become a fan of Rush Limbaugh.